The Sound of Us by Poston Ashley

Author:Poston, Ashley [Poston, Ashley]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, azw3
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
Published: 2013-12-19T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter Nineteen

I don’t stop running until I reach the CherryTree Ocean Club and lock myself into the condo, drenched in sweat. My parents aren’t home yet. Instead of going to the seafood restaurant with the big crab, they went on the gambling boat instead so I doubt they’ll be back before dawn. Catching my breath, I lean against the wall to keep myself up, sure if I sit down I’ll never get back up, and dial my best friend’s number. I’ll call Caspian after and explain why Roman Montgomery answered my phone. Then I’m going to tell him I don’t want to be a secret anymore—to anyone.

Because I’m worth more than a secret, right?

Aren’t I?

Maggie picks up on the first ring. “Trouble again, I see.” Her voice is so sharp I wince.

“Sorry, was followed by—called as soon as I—” I lean against the Jacuzzi to try and catch my breath. “I know you’re mad.”

“Mad?” she scoffs. “I’m livid! When were you going to tell me that Caspian Gardener’s gay?!”

I sink down onto the couch and wish the ground would just swallow me whole. Or that a carnivorous seagull would come in and eat my heart out. Or a serial killer would break into the condo and end my poor, pathetic life. I’m a secret girlfriend of a gay guy. Of a gay, hot guy.

Of a gay hot guy who took my virginity.

“I think I’m going to puke,” I moan, curling my free hand around my stomach.

“I know, right! Totes terrible! Oh, my poor va-jay-jay is crying in agony! Agony I tell you! But it’s totes ballsy, you know? If his parents found out...”

I really do think I’m going to puke. I stumble to my feet and b-line it for the bathroom. I’m not even a secret. I’m a shame-scape. Just in case he is found out, he can whip me out and I’ll play girlfriend. No one would ever know.

Just like Roman will never tell anyone he sang to me or danced with me to the Rolling Stones. Or kissed me.

Maybe I’m not worth more than a secret.

I barely make the toilet before I heave up the contents of my stomach. My virginity meant nothing. Not love, not devotion. There was no bed of roses, no French kisses, no whispers of “Baby, you’re all that I need.” There was nothing.

I am nothing.

“... Juniper? Are you okay? This is ridic, I know, but hey at least we’ll never have to go nuclear if he ever got a girlfriend, right?”

I wipe my mouth with a piece of toilet paper. “No,” I reply, biting my bottom lip to keep myself from crying. “No, no no.”

“But look at it this way—”

“We had sex,” I blurt, and Maggie goes silent. “On Friday. After I left. I didn’t go with you because I met Caspian. And we...”

“Oh my God, you did not ride the carnal carousel with him! You—how big is he?”

I moan and sit back against the ledge of the bathroom.

“And when you were going to tell me? Aren’t I supposed to be your best friend?” she accuses.

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